Editor's Note: The fight to restore liberty and justice is a serious endeavor and sometimes we get so bogged down in the latest crisis that we lose sight of everything else. This page is a collection (hopefully growing all the time) of sites and links that can bring a smile to our faces and some hope to our weary hearts. They won't all appeal to everyone, of course, but I hope you will find something to lighten and brighten your day. Please send me your favorite day brightener to share with everyone else. Text is preferred, but some graphics will be considered. Not all submissions can be used, of course.

Thanks!
Susan Callaway, Editor

An old priest was dying. He sent a message for an IRS agent and his Lawyer to come to the Rectory. When they arrived, they were ushered up to his bedroom. As they entered the room, the priest held out his hands and motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed. The priest grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled and stared at the ceiling. For a time, no one said anythin g. Both the IRS agent and Lawyer were touched and flattered that the old priest would ask them to be with him during his final moment. They were also puzzled because the priest had never given any indication that he particularly liked either one of them. Finally, the Lawyer asked, “Father, why did you ask the two of us to come?” The old guy mustered up some strength, then said weakly, “Jesus died between two thieves, and that's how I want to go, too.”
(Author unknown)

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
GEORGE BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either against us or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

HANS BLIX
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road I am now against it!

RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on the other side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

PAT BUCHANAN To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet that somebody out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars. And when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build a road for chickens to cross.

MARTHA STEWART
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay --- isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the ''other side'. That's what they call it the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we Boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."

DR SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die in the rain. Alone.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experi-enced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in peace.

ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX
It was an historic inevitability.

RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?

CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has ever gone before.

SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES
I have just witnessed eChicken2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook, - and internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken.

ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE
I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS
Did I miss one?

(Author unknown)

Stress Releaser... Thanks to a new reader, we now have several bubble wrap popping sites to choose from! Enjoy!

Timed Game

Flash version with music

Popped bubbles regenerate

Somewhat realistic

Very silly

At one time in my life, I thought I had a handle on the meaning of the word "service" - "the act of doing things for other people."
Then I heard the terms:
Internal Revenue Service
Postal Service
Telephone Service
Civil Service
City/County Public Service
Customer Service
Service Stations
and I became confused about the word "service." This is not what I thought "service" meant.

Then today, I overheard two farmers talking and one of them mentioned that he was having a bull over to "service" a few of his cows.

SHAZAM! It all came into perspective. Now I understand what all those "service" agencies are doing to us.

(Author unknown) Contrubuted by Nathan Barton

Senator Goes to Hell
(Author unknown)

While walking down the street one day, a female senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. Her soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," says the lady.

"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.

"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven," says the senator.

"I'm sorry but we have our rules." And with that, St. Peter escorts her to the elevator and she goes down to Hell.

The doors open, and she finds herself in the middle of a green golf course.

In the distance is a club and standing in front of it are all her friends and other politicians who had worked with her.

Everyone is very happy. They run to greet her, hug her, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at expense of the people.

They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and caviar.

Also present is the Devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before she realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives her a big hug and waves while the elevator rises.

The elevator goes up, up, up, and the door reopens on Heaven where St. Peter is waiting for her.

"Now it's time to visit Heaven." So 24 hours pass with the head of state joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time, and before she realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

"Well then, you've spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven. Now, choose the place where you want to spend eternity."

She reflects for a minute and then answers: "Well, I would never have said it, I mean Heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in Hell."

So Saint Peter escorts her to the elevator, and she goes down, down, down to Hell.

Now, the doors of the elevator open, and she is in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. She sees all her friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags.

The Devil comes over to her and lays his arm on her neck.

"I don't understand," stammers the senator. "Yesterday I was here, and there was a golf course and club, and we ate lobster and caviar and we danced and had a great time. Now there is a wasteland full of garbage, and my friends look miserable."

The Devil looks at her, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning.

Today, you voted for us!"

From Michael LaFaive, a nice set of jokes for the day...

"Just did my taxes... And thus felt compelled to look these up:

1. Post Office just recalled their newest stamps: They had pictures of IRS agents on them, and people couldn't figure out
which side to spit on.

2. How are an apple and a I.R.S. agent alike? They both look good hanging from a tree.

3. If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the newspaper?

4. What did the terrorist that hijacked a jumbo-jet full of I.R.S. agents do? He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren't met.

5. What do you call 25 I.R.S. agents buried up to their chins in cement? Not enough cement.

6. What do you call 25 skydiving I.R.S. agents? Skeet.

7. What do you throw to a drowning I.R.S. agent? His co-workers.

8. What's brown and looks really good on an I.R.S. agent? A Doberman.

9. What's the difference between an I.R.S. agent and a mosquito? One is a bloodsucking parasite, the other is an insect.

A Satirical Political Beliefs Assessment Test A Humorous Political Party Quiz to Test If You're an Archconservative, Leftwing Wacko, Antigovernment Libertine or a Commie Sympathizer

by Donald J. Hagen Copyright © 2002 - 2004

INTRODUCTION

Political parties share much in common with obscenity. Both are difficult to define, yet, to paraphrase U.S. Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart's definition of obscenity, you know a political party when you see it. Therefore, it comes as no surprise that some of the most obscene acts in our nation's history were allegedly the deliberate handiwork of some of the most honored and respected political parties in America. All Americans realize this, which is why becoming a member of the U.S. Supreme Court is such a grueling ordeal.

This test, however, is a work of satire, not a history lesson. Consider all questions in this quiz as purely hypothetical situations, posed to discover your perception of reality, rather than actual reality. Through this test’s funny question and answer format you will unearth far deeper insights into your personal political persuasion than on those dry political party tests, which merely pose a dull array of boring questions to give you a rough estimate of whether you are a conservative or liberal.

And rather than using the funny test formats used on all those popular online personality purity tests and quizzes, which merely poke fun at one political viewpoint, this test allows you see the humor in four political viewpoints at once!

Enter here!

If Operating Systems were Airlines
Author unknown

DOS AIR: All the passengers go out onto the runway, grab hold of the plane, push it until it gets in the air, hop on, and jump off when it hits the ground again. Then they grab the plane again, push it back into the air, hop on, etcetera.

WINDOWS AIRLINES: The terminal is very neat and clean, the attendants are all very attractive and the pilots very capable. The fleet is immense. Your jet takes off without a hitch, pushing above the clouds, and at 20,000 feet it explodes without warning.

MAC AIRWAYS: Tickets are expensive. The cashiers, flight attendants, and pilots all look the same, feel the same and act the same. When asked questions about the flight they reply that you don't want to know, don't need to know, and would you please return to your seat and watch the movie.

LINUX EXPRESS: Each passenger brings a piece of the airplane and a box of tools to the airport. They gather on the tarmac, arguing constantly about what kind of plane they want to build and how to put it together. Eventually, they build several different aircraft, but give them all the same name. Some passengers actually reach their destinations. All passengers believe they got there.