July 05, 2010

Did you ever paint yourself into a corner? We all like to joke about that sometimes, but how many of us have ever really given it much thought related to our everyday actions? I know I often do not.

For example, the last four years I've watered young trees on my place the hard way, dragging a 100 ft. hose from one side of the house to the other. It's taken time to set up drip lines for them, and the trees had to be watered in the meantime. I've always parked the car next to the back door. Each day of the summer, I would drag or carry the hose past my car, fussing at the extra work or the irritation when the hose hung up on the wheels or it wouldn't reach until I had moved it all the way around the other direction.

Last week - the start of tree watering season here, it occurred to me to park the car on the other side of the drive way. I use the car about once or twice a week. I water trees daily all summer. Problem solved by walking a few feet more to the back door once in a while. Of course, a few days after I figured this out, I got the last of the drip system in and won't have to drag the hoses anymore at all.

Oh, my aching hindsight.

How foolish to cling to a habit that makes more work, causes irritation and is so easily changed. How sad when our blindness makes our lives so much more difficult than they need to be.

Relationships are often more a matter of habit than utility or pleasure in the same way. We often do things just like our parents did, or due to problems and trauma in childhood, go out of our way to do everything as differently as possible. All too often we do not examine our premise for any of that, let alone contemplate possible alternatives. It's too easy to blame the other person for not making us happy and react according to habit rather than evaluating both the situation and our emotions - then acting rationally. 

Politics are even more prone to this old habit syndrome. We inherit our politics from our parents and culture originally, sometimes buying into them deeply - and sometimes doing everything possible to be different. Some people make a serious effort to evaluate all the options, but a great many do not ever truly examine the basic philosophy or principles involved in their position.

So, I propose that we truly honor this "Independence Day" holiday and examine our habits, our relationships and politics in a realistic way. Now that the BBQ is over and the spots from the fireworks no longer obscure your vision, take some time to explore the real history you've just celebrated, and consider what it means in your present life - and what you might be doing differently.

It could become a habit.