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April 27,
2009 Reese Witherspoon (Susan) – taking “bimbo” to a new height. Seth Rogan (B.O.B) – brainless, clueless, gelatinous; your typical Obama voter. Hugh Laurie (Dr. Cockroach) – and you thought palmetto bugs were annoying. Will Arnet (Missing Link) – he’s missing a few links all right. Stephen Colbert (The President) – yeah, like a guy that inept could ever get elected President –oh yeah … hmm. Not since the Land Of The Misfit Toys, has a collection of cartoon losers united together on a disastrous mission – that is of course unless you count the Congressmen who voted for the Stimu-pork package. Monsters vs. Aliens attempts to entertain the kiddies through pratfalls, sight gags and butt jokes, while at the same time trying to retain the adult’s attention with dozens of quick-witted references to well-known space movies. The Real 3D doesn’t hurt either, but about halfway through MvA is seems like the writers ran out of ideas. Hey wait a minute … maybe these are the same writers who cooked up Pelosi’s Stimu-pork package. Monsters vs. Aliens could easily be re-titled “Attack of the 50-Foot Woman meets Mars Attacks meets Toy Story.” There’s not a lot of political correctness in Monsters vs. Aliens, but as I’ve mentioned before, Hollyweird is a lot happier these days. The Evil Bush-Monster has been ousted and their Messiah has been installed in the Oval Office. Up until recently there were lots of liberal messages inserted into Hollyweird kid-flicks. There is one bit of noticeable PC’ness. That would be the whole skinny girls kick ass genre; somewhat like Lara Croft, Silk Spectre or Buffy The Vampire Slayer. Then again Susan gets radiated after getting clonked with a meteor and does grow to be about 50 feet tall, so one would expect her to increase her strength. I wonder if we could pair her up with the Big Nekkid Blue Guy from The Watchmen. Now there’s a video that might eclipse even Susan Boyle. Nevertheless, Monsters vs. Aliens’ Susan only discovers her purpose in life after she rids herself of her selfish man. Women are just as strong as men. There is no strength difference between the sexes. There is no difference between the sexes. I know this, because Hollyweird tells me so. Listen Hollyweird, I’ll lay it out for you: men and women are different. Men are physically stronger and made to survive the day. Women are biologically stronger and made to survive the species. Women are more human, if you will. Men are talking apes. Heck, I even eat a banana every morning and then go chase red meat. The other PC pap is the whole idea of seeecret guv’mint operations with seeecret military hi-tech warehouses full of seeecret gadgets and seeecret creepy beings. Kind of like a boy-toy party at Bawney Fwank’s house. When Susan begins to grow tall, Alice in Wonderland style, in fly the Feds with their black suits, sunglasses and briefcases with a “?” insignia on them. They whisk Susan away and toss her in a bland cell, surrounded by other mutants. Naturally, the black-ops troops are all evil whiteys. Bad spooky military white guys! Bad bad bad! One interesting thing is the oddball alien leader looks a lot like Barack Obama. No kidding. That’s not an insult; it’s just a coincidence – I think. Then again there is that whole missing birth certificate issue … hmm. Another thing to consider is why the President is a white guy. The current President is black (okay, half-black – yes I know; whatever). Imagine the caterwauling from the left if the President was portrayed by a bumbling, incompetent black character. Say … a skinny black guy with big floppy ears, who cannot speak without a teleprompter. The liberals would have a snit-fit and howl for the film to be yanked off the shelves. After all, despite all their marches and protests, liberals do not believe in the First Amendment. Remember, this is a kid-flick, so the PC references take a back seat to some good ol’ fashioned product marketing (typical hypocrisy of the Hollyweird left), so look for Monsters vs. Aliens characters at Toys R Us sometime soon. Not that any kid would actually want any of these characters, but tossing B.O.B against the wall to see if he sticks might be kind of fun. The Bachelor B’s – Blood Breasts, Beasts, Bashes and Bombs – don’t even apply here. Let’s face it, if you’re a bachelor sitting in a theatre watching Monsters vs. Aliens, you really are a lonely guy. Sneak in with a family. It’ll be less embarrassing. I give Monsters vs. Aliens three Capitalist Dollar Signs (out of 5) $$$
Hear
RadioFree Rocky D at www.wtma.com Your comments and feedback are welcome! Now PoL has its own forum at The Mental Militia! Check it out |
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