Last week a reader sent me this ghoulish warning, which I now quote: Robbing Females Using the Bathrooms at Shopping Malls
The way the scam works is, a man slips into the women's rest-room and sneaks into a stall. He waits until there is only one woman in the restroom in a neighboring stall. The criminal then stands on the toilet and points a hand gun into the next stall, demanding the woman's valuables. After getting her cash and jewelry, he demands that she remove all of her clothing and kick them out of the stall. The thief tosses the clothing into a shopping bag, hangs an out of order sign on the restroom door, and slips back into the mall. The out of order sign ensures no one will soon come to the woman's rescue. It usually takes an hour or two for the woman to work up the nerve to leave the restroom in the nude, giving the criminal ample time to make his get away. The woman is left naked and humiliated in a mall full of strangers.
The best defense, says police, is to never go into a shopping mall restroom alone, as only women who are by themselves are targeted.
But something didn't add up. Shopping mall restrooms are busy places, and I can certainly think of easier ways to steal a handbag. And why no details about names, dates, places, and so forth?
A quick internet search revealed the Halloween pranksters were already hard at work. In fact this particular hoax has been making the rounds since 2002. That's when a bogus Associated Press story claimed this shopping mall caper was occurring with "amazing regularity."
Why do I share this amusing tale?
Because a quick check of the e-mail thread revealed the gloomy warning already had been sent to 50 women, each of whom had been instructed to "PLEASE FORWARD THIS TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!!!!" Which means over half the female population in the United States no doubt has received this message by now.
Now we know why women always go in pairs to powder their noses.
This raises two interesting questions: Why do people start these urban legends? And why do so many women believe them to be true? I'll come back to that first question in a minute. Let's now broaden our focus.
What if women began to believe that danger lurked behind every scarecrow, moon-lit cornstalk, and knurled tree?
What if people began to believe that the slightest grimace or gesture could be perceived as hostile, and concluded that harassment had reached epidemic proportions?
And what if employers began to ban Christmas parties because such events were seen as breeding grounds for sexual harassment? This has already begun to happen.
What if a certain law dedicated to curbing domestic violence kept claiming that men commit 85% of partner aggression? All this in spite of the research that shows women are the sex more likely to abuse?
In England, lawmakers are debating whether to pass a law that would require a woman who drinks alcohol to give her written consent before engaging in sexual relations. Why? Because a recent rape trial collapsed when the woman admitted she was too inebriated to remember whether she had consented to sex.
Let's say we all agree that if a woman drinks a glass of sherry, her verbal consent is null and void. (We won't dwell on the obvious double-standard here.) So where does the slippery slope end?
Many cold medicines make people feel drowsy and confused. Ditto for anti-depressants. Consent forms would be needed for those situations, as well.
Of course pre-menstrual syndrome is known to affect one's emotions, so the list would have to be expanded.
And why should written consent apply only to sexual relations? Why not a full-blown competency test for every woman who wishes to apply for a credit card, ink a business deal, or vote in the local elections?
Do you see where this is headed? Yesireee, we're staring the Nanny State in the face.
So ladies, here's your Halloween treat: There's no need to fret over illusive bathroom purse-snatchers. And don't worry about a stealthy stalker casting a hex on your broomstick.
But we do have an epidemic of abuse hysteria on our hands -- and it's caused by wicked women who are only interested in pushing their divisive and destructive gender agenda.
Beware the ladies knocking at your door who are more Trick than Treat. That's something to really get spooked about.
Carey Roberts probes and lampoons political correctness. His work has been published frequently in the Washington Times, Townhall.com, LewRockwell.com, ifeminists.net, Intellectual Conservative, and elsewhere. He is a staff reporter for the New Media Network.