May 22, 2006

A half truth is a whole lie.
Yiddish Proverb

On October 11, 2005 Marie Claire magazine and Liz Claiborne Inc. joined forces for, “It’s Time to Talk Day,” as a way to encourage public dialogue about domestic violence. This, Time to Talk Day, was a part of a national campaign that was intended to break the silence and get people talking about the issue of domestic violence.

When most people think about a domestic violence victim they think of a woman who has been beaten and battered by a man. As a former law enforcement officer I know full well that some women are beaten and battered by some men. However, contemporarily domestic violence is more broadly defined and is often characterized as verbal, emotional, manipulative, coercive behavior as well as physical abuse:

Abuse is a pattern of coercive control that one person exercises over another. Battering is a behavior that physically harms, arouses fear, prevents a partner from doing what they wish or forces them to behave in ways they do not want.

Using the above definition, Liz Claiborne Inc. claims, as do the majority of domestic violence organizations, that one in three women at some point in their lifetime will be abused. They not only ignore any mention of male victimization, claiming there are approximately 50 million females victims, they trivializes the victimization of everyone who has been violently beaten and battered regardless of age, gender or sexual orientation.

It is universally accepted that domestic violence does not begin the day girls become women or boys become men. It is generally agreed that girls and boys who initiate and/or experience dating violence are at a higher risk of abusive behavior towards each other when they are adults as victims and/or perpetrators.

It’s Time to Talk (Or So TheyClaim)

Although Liz Claiborne Inc. claims, “It’s Time to Talk,” it is painfully obvious that rather than breaking the silence about dating/domestic violence, it is the goal of Liz Claiborne Inc. and the majority of nationally recognized domestic violence organizations to remain silent about the victimization of boys/men.

The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV) makes it clear that it is only concerned about the victimization of women not men.

When and where the facts make it impossible for these organizations to paint male victimization as invisible, these organizations attempt to minimize or marginalize male victimization and maximize male offending.

While the NCADV claims that it is concerned about the children of battered women– one would assume that includes both girls and boys - its website documents the NCADV, similar to the majority of domestic violence organizations, is only concerned about our daughters, not our sons. The NCADV dating violence “Fact Sheet” rejects, discounts, disregards leaves out, excludes, erases, and ignores data concerning the victimization of our sons.

The Liz Claiborne Inc. survey notes that its own research shows deep and troubling evidence that significant numbers of today’s teens are victims of dating abuse. What should be a real, deep and troubling concern for all of us is the fact that Liz Claiborne Inc. is unable or unwilling to acknowledge the victimization of our sons.

Keeping The Silence

Why is it that Liz Claiborne Inc., has decided to ignore or minimize the data about female offending and male victimization presented to them in the very survey they commissioned?

If Liz Claiborne Inc. accepts the survey data about dating/domestic violence, their philosophic theory that domestic violence happens because of sexism and power and control of men over women in our society will be revealed as a theory with little to no empirical foundation. The data in the TRAS leaves no doubt that many girls often behave as badly as many boys concerning verbal, emotional, manipulative, coercive and physically abusive behavior towards their partners.

In April 25, 2006 Liz Claiborne Inc., the majority of domestic violence organizations, and public policy makers, including Hillary Rodham Clinton, reveal they have no trouble ignoring or minimizing the victimization of our sons in their biased and prejudiced effort that actually can endanger rather than protect our daughters.

It is difficult to understand how or why these organizations do not recognize that they are replicating the very behavior they railed against in the 20^th century. Oppressive and prejudiced assumptions concerning gender are unfair, unwarranted and in fact are dangerous concerning the well being of girls/women and boys/men.

Richard L. Davis served in the United States Marine Corps from 1960 to 1964. He is a retired lieutenant from the Brockton, Massachusetts police department. He has a graduate degree in liberal arts from Harvard University and a second in criminal justice from Anna Maria College. He is a member of the International Honor Society of Historians and the American Society of Criminology. He is a college instructor for Quincy College at Plymouth, MA in Criminology, Criminal Justice and Domestic Violence. He is the vice president for Family Nonviolence, Inc. in Fairhaven, MA. He is also the vice president for the Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men and Women.

He is an independent consultant for criminal justice domestic violence policies, procedures, and programs. He is the author of Domestic Violence: Facts and Fallacies by Praeger publishers and has written numerous articles for newspapers, journals, and magazines concerning the issue of domestic violence. He has columns concerning domestic violence at http://www.policeone.com, and http://www.nycop.com, is a distance learner instructor in Introduction to Criminal Justice and Domestic Violence for the Online Police Academy and has a website. He and Kim Eyer have a domestic violence website The Cop and the Survivor.

He lives in Plymouth, Massachusetts with his wife and the youngest of five children. He experienced domestic violence professionally for 21 years as a police officer and personally as a child and as an adult. In his retirement he continues to use his education, experience, and training to help the children, women, and men who have had to endure violence from those who profess to love them. He may be reached here.

Archives

Mandatory Arrest and No-Drop Prosecution

Primary and Dominant - Aggressor Arrest Policies

Liz Claiborne Inc. (Part 1) A Case Study of Deception

Liz Claiborne Inc. (Part 2) Power, Control and Emotional Abuse