April 08, 2005

Not too long ago, I read an article in The New York Times about Americans moving to Canada. The article focused on people opposed to President Bush's policies (and these people obviously didn't vote for Bush; but then neither did I). Naturally, these people were mostly left-coasters and Yankees.

Ironically, their argument for wanting to leave the U.S. was that America is moving too far to the right, when it's clear America has maintained its slow, steady left-ward drift. As evidence of this leftward drift, I need simply refer to events surrounding judicial rulings on gay marriage, striking 'under God' from the pledge of allegiance (not that I'm a fan of the pledge), the government sanctioned death-by-starvation of Terry Schiavo, and legislation such as the Patriot Act (clearly an anti-liberty law that socialist should love since they believe in the power of the state). I don't know! how they are defining 'right,' but the article did give a hint. These hopefully-soon-to-be Canadians claimed that America was "abandoning the principles of tolerance, compassion and peaceful idealism they felt once defined the nation." Translated that means the government isn't redistributing American citizen's wealth 'fairly,' they fear socialist ideals aren't moving forward fast enough (I'm sure they would say, "Just look at Canada," as an ideal social system), and the 1960's drug induced 'peaceful idealism' they once felt has faded into harsh reality since their drugs have worn off.

The article went on to talk about the large increase in inquiries by Americans on the process to immigrate to Canada. Apparently, for once, those who are 'threatening' to walk out on the U.S. are actually starting to do so. The only thing I can say to this is: Good! On the way out, don't let the door knob hit ya where the good Lord split ya!

In reality, 2003 statistics say all of 6,000 Americans received permanent resident status in Canada. If this triples, in accordance with the inquiries Canada has gotten from Americans, that's only 18,000 immigrants a year from America. What's 18,000 liberal immigrants moving from America to Canada called? A good start.

The article went on to talk about all the disaffected voters who aren't making the move to Canada. Well we can't have that! These are liberals after all. They want everyone to be happy little socialists, and the best way to make these American socialists happy is to turn them into Canadian socialists. These Yankee liberals and left-coasters want compassion? Here's compassion: let's encourage these folks to move to Canada so they can 'feel' better about themselves.

While we're at it, all those idiotic Hollyweird types should keep their promise to leave the country. They can move to Canada too, and take Hollywood with them. I wouldn't miss it one bit. Perhaps British Columbia could replace California as 'the land of fruits and nuts.'

Here's another thought: Let's not forget the liberal/socialist institutions that focus on undermining America. These organizations aren't happy either, so let's make them happy by moving them to Canada as well. The liberal whiners could take these institutions with them when they leave. They should drag along the National Education Association, the American Civil Liberties Union (call them the Canadian Civil Liberties Union), the Southern Poverty Law Center (a good name change would be the Canadian Political Correctness Law Center), the National Association for th! e Advancement of Colored People (no name change required, as I'm sure there are some black socialists in Canada), People for the American Way (they could change their name to People for the Canadian Way), and the Public Broadcasting System. Oh, what the heck, take CNN, ABC, CBS and NBC with you while you're at it. And don't forget to take a minor detour through Dixie on your way north of the border and pick up a few of your wayward Yankees that have spilled over into the South, cluttering up our beautiful country side. By golly if we're going to do this, let's do it right! (Hint to all liberals headed for Canada: When you come South to pick up a few of your 'brethren' to take to Canada with you, you n eed to know where to look. I hear a big nest of those Yankee liberals have settled in Atlanta, and another nest of Left-Coasters have gathered in Austin. Please come and pick them up.)

What that New York Times article boiled down to was focusing on a bunch of sore losers who've bought into a failed ideology (Haven't they paid attention to what's happened to socialist countries around the world?). But if they want to hold onto their fantasies, Canada is a good choice. After all, you won't have to learn a new language (okay, maybe some French, as they are officially a bi-lingual country), and Canada has basically embraced the same socialist ideas as Europe, which means they are as dysfunctional as any country on the other side of the Atlantic. If that's what you want, go for it.

Since I was a kid I've heard liberals make declarations like, "If so-and-so wins, or does this, I'll move to Canada." Well, at least it's nice to see that some liberals actually mean what they say. I think it is the responsibility of those of us who stay behind in the U.S. to do what we can to help these people get to Canada as fast as they can. Personally, I'm willing to drive a bull dozer to shovel them and their belongings over the 49th parallel. After that, it might be a good idea to build a wall so they can't stumble back over here once they find out the grass isn't necessarily greener north of the border.

Jeff Adams

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