Death by Protection
By Catfarmer

Near the beginning of Far From The Madding Crowd, (a Masterpiece Theatre movie based on the Thomas Hardy novel) one heartbreaking scene made a vivid impression on me. An aspiring shepherd leases a small parcel of farmland, invests all of his savings in a flock of sheep, and rashly trusts a young dog to guard them. Early one morning the dog inadvertently stampedes his entire flock through a flimsy pasture fence and straight off a steep cliff onto sharp rocks far below. The dog's barking awakens the shepherd in time to discover what is happening, but too late for him to save any of his sheep.

In a terrible instant, the poor shepherd loses his entire flock, all of his savings, and his farm because his inexperienced dog had no understanding of what it was doing. The shepherd never anticipated the dreadful outcome of trusting the dog to protect his flock. The watchdog executed its responsibilities badly, thereby destroying the flock it was supposed to protect. Stunned and grief-stricken, the shepherd walks a short way with the dog before he sits the dog down, steps back, raises his rifle and fires one sure shot. He's abruptly lost everything, and the dog represents a liability too agonizing for him to bear. (Read the rest here.)

Politically Incorrect Movie Reviews
Dawn Of The Dead (2004)
By RadioFree Rocky D

When I first saw the title, Dawn Of The Dead, I thought, “Hey, the sequel to Passion Of The Christ is out already!” (insert rimshot here) Actually, D.O’D.2004. is a gooey mess of a different blood type altogether. Based on the original George Romero gorefest of 1978, this remake speeds up the zombies, camps up the soundtrack and ramps up the shock value to the point where we begin looking forward to picking out which unlikable emoooting ahk-tor we’d like to see end up as the next ghoulie-snack. Limp-wristed feelm crit-teeks are having hissy fits over the fact that this retread does nothing to advance Romero’s original story. But does it have to? It’s flesh-feasting zombies gone wild, fer krissakes – it ain’t Hemmingway. D.O’D.2004 could easily be retitled, “28 Days Later meets the NRA.” And once again we have yet another walking-dead flick that begs the question: why aren’t there any vegetarian zombies?

Here is the plot of D.O’D.2004 in a tasty li’l morsel: Hungry zombies chase people around the Milwaukee suburbs. Cannibalistic goonism ensues. It all starts at 6:45AM with a 10-year-old who chomps the throat out of her neighbor – well, they always say breakfast is the most important part of the day. (Read the rest here)

Spelling Problem - The Future of The Fifties
By Ed Henry

Watching the congressional committee investigating 9/11, I was suddenly at a loss to understand what they were talking about when they mentioned "UBL." Finally, by repeated references I was able to figure out that they were talking about Usama bin Laden.

How many years has it been since everyone seemed settled on the English version of this evildoer's name as Osama? For awhile it was "Ossama" or even "Ossamma" and "ben" or "bin" Laden. Are we now to accept the spelling of several of the members of the congressional committee and the "Usama bin Laden" used by Dick Clarke in his book "Against All Enemies?" Have we been wrong all this time? (Read the rest here)

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