|
|
07/04/09
|
|||||||||||||
|
|
In what has become the expansive barren universe of television (which says a lot about the audience), one of the latest hit shows is "Queer Eye for The Straight Guy." On the show five openly homosexual males (all quite stereotypically flamboyant) visit the most disheveled and hapless straight men in New York City, they supposedly transform the caveman like straight male, into a neat and prissy creature, that after the visit from the "fairies" gets more in tune with his "feminine side." When it comes to TV at least one can choose to change the channel (approximately 350 choices by last count) or preferably just turn it off, but when it comes to living in an economic system avoiding annoying and intrusive laws and regulations is not that easy. The United States is portrayed to its citizens and other folks around the world as the beacon of democracy and capitalism. To much of the world and some of its own politicians, America’s past and present economies are similar to the apartment of the disheveled subject on the show. They believed and always have that America's free market economic system is in need of a makeover. Imagine, if you will, Karl Marx examining the American economy before 1913, much like the when the “Fab Five” enter the apartment of their straight subject. “My God” Marx would exclaim “there is no progressive taxation of income in this economy. Let’s fix that pronto, some folks are making too much money and other folks need it”, the solution would come swiftly and stealthily. “Let’s impose a “progressive” tax on income. In order too make sure the government gets its money on time and so that nobody really notices how much they pay, let’s deduct it directly from those cute little paychecks.” After rearranging things to his liking Marx would graciously thank all those that assisted him. “Thanks Woodrow and FDR I could never have done it without you.” Much like the “fairies” transform their subjects appearance, by dressing him, coiffing him and tanning him to their liking, Lenin would look upon our once vibrant and unrestricted economy and get to work. “Laissez Faire and Caveat emptor are just so passé” he would remark. “People need protection from those filthy capitalist pigs, and I know just the bureaucracies to do it.” After conjuring up an alphabet soup of regulatory agencies and matching legislation he would acknowledge those who lent a helping hand. “FDR, T. Rex and Tricky Dickey I couldn’t have done it without you guys, merci beaucop.” Similar to the way that the gay men in the show sometimes fix their gaze on their straight subject, Fidel Castro has had his eye on the US for quite sometime. The macho tyrant who has mercilessly sodomized the rights of the Cuban people for over four decades looks at US travel restrictions and the Cuban embargo with admiration. “These Yankee imperialist are just fabulous, they claim to be the land of the free yet they keep those gringo tourists off my island, and prohibit them from doing business on my turf. They have furnished the isolation of my people and the necessary scapegoat to keep me in power for as long as I want. Let’s not forget that they are also providing an excellent example on how too curtail my people’s civil liberties.” Fidel would show his appreciation for all those that have helped him stay in power by sending them a box of fine Cuban cigars “W., Bill, and the hypocritical exile leaders I have sent you a box of my finest, they may never get there because of the small matter of the embargo but I am eternally grateful non the less.” Culture
is one of the things stressed on the “Queer Eye” show; Stalin
could help us with that especially when it comes to the second amendment.
“The right of the people to bear arms shall not be infringed; guns
are such a fashion faux pas” Uncle Joe (as he was affectionately
referred to by FDR, who did look kind of effeminate with that blanket
over his legs) would observe. “What America needs is plenty of rules
and regulations that will eventually take the guns out of the hands of
sane, law abiding citizens and put them in the right hands (my minions).”
By most accounts “Uncle Joe” would be pleased with the work
of some Americans “keep up the good work comrades Brady and Moore
don’t let those nasty gun nuts detract you from the mission at hand.”
www.antunez.org
|
| |||||||||||
|
Submit
Feedback
|
|
|||||||||||
|
|
